What I Brought to Turnipcon 3
Or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Elephant
Turnipcon 3 was my first Turnip28 event and I went in bright eyed and bushy tailed. I brought the March of the Proboscis because I am literally a sucker for any cult with a big build wanted to bring something that I thought was pretty solidly middle of the pack that let me roll a lot of dice.
The List
- Boletus
- Chaff (BP)
- The Great Proboscis (CCW)
- Toady
- Whelps (BP)
- Toady
- Fodder (CCW)
Originally I was running this with Missile weapons on everything except Probby, thinking that I could sneak a couple more panic tokens over black powder. Using Chaff to remove stand and shoot from charge targets, whelps for some cheeky retreat angling and Fodder to screen and get a few more panic tokens in as they got shot, with Probby to hit big charges on scary units and run down retreating units.
Testing
In testing that didn’t really bear out, Fodder could usually expect a to get 1 wound normally or 2 wounds volley firing, but would usually take more hits get bracketed and then start taking retreats. With Whelps it was even worse, they’d get a couple hits but usually take more back and eat a retreat. Chaff do okay, usually sneaking in one wound on a volley fire without taking any hits, but all of this really changes with 5+ Vulnerability units like Brutes, Bastards, Crabs and other Probbies. Getting anything to go through on a 3+ is a nightmare.
So I reworked the list with BP on Chaff and Whelps and gave Fodder CCW, moving them from something that could generate a few extra panic tokens with a good screening unit that could hit deeper charges and run down retreating units. Things picked up a lot, the list started winning a lot more, particularly into lists with lots of 5+ units.
Now the strategy was use Chaff to screen Probby and remove enemy shooting, cap objectives and take opportunistic potshots with Whelps (hopefully getting good angles for multiple dangerous terrain tests on retreat), use Boletus to give my Fodder block Bowl Loosening Charge and use them and Probby to hit big charges.
The Games
Game 1 - Brotherhood of Greed on Crossing the Dredge (3ft)
First game into a shooting army with lots of BP fodder was not exactly what I was hoping for and this was only made worse by losing 2 whelps to a dangerous terrain test at the start of round 1. Fodder got demolished very shortly after and I was practically tabled by the end of Round 2. Over too fast for me to really break down what went wrong unfortunately, probably over extending and playing too aggressive into a big shooting army. Wonderful paint job of satin finish inks over metallics giving the armour fabulous chitinous sheen.
Loss.
Game 2 - Grand Bombard on Lost in the Fog (3ft)
Oh boy, lost in the fog is kind of a dream scenario for charge focused lists, you’re smack bang in the middle of the action, no round 1 marches where you can get plinked down. Just keep chaff back for the end of the deployment, and try to make sure that your chaff are the only thing available for preliminary bombardment. Aggressively push objectives to keep their Bombard and Stump Gun Inaccuracy as low as possible, then clean up with Probby and the fodder. Have to say though that the modelling was absolutely wonderful, bombard was modelled as a heliograph sending messages to an off board cannon, with gorgeous little spotter tokens that were wonderfully muddy and sad.
Win.
Game 3 - Stranglin’ Harry’s on Chanterelle’s Disaster (4ft)
This game was against a new player with some borrowed miniatures so no Rootlings shenanigans. Absolutely wonderful game, I got bodied hard by lots of shooting and a long walk down the centre aisle. They played smart, hanging back getting lots of great shots in while I over extended my whelps on a flank to cap aggressively and lost them. I’m starting to notice a pattern of playing too aggressively into multiple BP fodder lists, in hindsight, the move was probably to push up slowly and well screened, making sure I try can take at least one unit’s fire onto my Chaff and wait for a good moment to charge.
Loss.
Game 4 - The March of the Proboscis on Save the Bacon (3ft)
The mirror match was very interesting, their list was Prob, BP Whelps, BP Bastards and CCW Brutes. Their Brutes charged my chaff at the start of Round 1 and I was on the back foot from the start, I counter charged with my Probby and cleared them off, but I wasn’t in a great position. Pig movement RNG was very in my favour so I bundled up in a board edge while his BP bastards harassed my Fodder, and Whelps attacked my flank. I was waiting for a very rough bastards charge to clear me out but for some reason it never came, my whelps slowly whittled down his on the flank while keeping the pig secured. At the end of round four I had almost nothing left, both our Probby’s get locked into a melee that went for three bouts before one of them dropped, but my fodder manage to hold on and keep the pig in check.
I shook hands feeling very much like I had blundered into a victory off of pig rng, but now that I look back that Bastards charge I was worried about never came and I wonder if it had whether I would be walking away with a loss. Once again some gorgeous models, probby was modelled as a big old weird monster with a big cargo rack on his back, wounds were tracked by slowly removing boxes and barrels from his back, which was such a lovely touch, the whelps were also amazing, all standing on the scaffolded back of a huge weird creature covered in ladders and ropes and Boletus was a little pig with a speaker. A+, top notch.
Win.
Game 5 - Wandering Morris on The Smile That Wins (4ft)
I can’t quite remember the list but I think it was either 3 or 4 blocks of missile fodder. I was up the board too fast for Morris to really build up a scary pet stack and some good Whelp angles and charges kept their Fodder doing multiple dangerous terrain tests each retreat, I got a little hot under the collar when Morris started making 4 attacks and auto killing units on a 6, and Probby got almost immediately 1 shot by Morris as soon as he was, but the game was pretty much over with my fodder getting BLC every turn and running down his last two blocks on retreat. By far one of the best looking armies at the event, each pet was a gorgeous model in its own right, along with a fantastic Morris ridding around on a little tank, and little toothy panic tokens.
Missile fodder are in a rough place against 5+ Vulnerability, sorry about the stomp.
Win.
What Went Well?
CCW Fodder
Man they really pack a punch at 5+, and the reroll is no slouch either. But what really makes them is the bonus charge distance on panic tokens and getting BLC on them every charging turn, they charge way further than you would think at first blush. They make a great unit to soak up hits and stick around long enough to get those run downs in rounds 3 and 4.
Whelps in general
Even without skirmisher Whelps are still one of the most important units, dash is probably the most powerful rule in the game, they make getting objectives so much easier and they shoot like chaff. They also take to BLC very well with their 12” movement, but the real secret sauce is they let you angle for some crazy double and triple test retreats.
Probby’s new dangerous terrain rule
Like I said above Max was testing a new rule for Proboscis, where failed dangerous terrain tests were 6 wounds instead of instakill. Luckily I never had to make any dangerous terrain tests with Probby, but I definitely was stressing about his positioning less, particularly in the early game where Chaff can plink him into a bad spot. The rule feels great, no more unwinnable games because you’ve lost your centerpiece early to a bad roll. It still hurts but you’re not as completely paranoid about losing your elephant anymore.
What Didn’t Go Well?
Remembering Safety in Numbers
Oh boy. I could not remember this rule for the life of me, I lost so many positions because I forgot my fearless tests and I screened with chaff in a lot of cases where I probably should have screened with fodder.
Screening with Chaff
Yeah, they get charged by players that know what their doing. Screening with them means they’re usually a valid charge target for most of your opponents big melee threats. There’s some matchups against shooting armies where I think it’s deffo the right move, but miss deploying them straight into melee brutes in game 4 felt pretty terrible.
Playing against shooting armies
I think this is probably a natural bane to most cavalry lists, but I definitely needed more practice into how to navigate the match up. I got tabled very quickly against lists with multiple blocks of BP fodder.
Ones To Watch
Small disclaimer that I didn’t play against any of these on the day. All my matches felt winnable and I the ones I lost I feel like I definitely misplayed.
Leech Lovers
They were playing with a new rule where all their units started with 1 panic, and I think it didn’t effect them at all. I think the general consensus is that they’re the boogieman at the moment so I expect we’ll see some changes to their rules in future. I also had managed to talk one of the folks I came down with into running them for the event and he proceed to spend his entire time apologising and feeling bad for bringing them. Sorry about that Johnny, at least you went 5-0.
Slug’s Lament
This army would have shredded me, I think the ideal list is Grogs, Grogs, Whelps, Chaff/Bastards/Stumpgun. They feel like playing a different game entirely, 3+ volley fire is devastating but still being at 12 4+s on the charge is crazy. I hate to say it because their probably my favourite cult in terms of design, but damn do they do melee and shooting too well. If and when they get changed, I hope they still retain their shooting and feel more like normal BP Brutes on the charge.
Feast of Charybdis
Like Slugs I didn’t get the chance to play against them but they were the other melee threat in my mind. While they may be slightly less powerful than Probby on paper, all it takes is one bad roll for the odds to massively shift in their favour, and that’s before we get into the two crab list.
Who’s looking a bit Sad
Grand Bombard
A very cool army, but extremely feast or famine. They need to get on objectives to win engagements but they’re incentivized to take another stump gun to make the most of their rules. Spotters is a great rule but their toffs are too fragile for it to really help. Maybe bombard needs to be a free unit, or possibly give the toffs a slightly tougher profile.
Missile Weapons
I think they’re in a decent spot against 6+ Vulnerability targets but 5+ feels extremely grim for them at the moment. Not sure if there’s an elegant fix for it as they were pretty busted when they were just -1 to Vulnerability, maybe there’s a sweetspot where they take take 6+ to 4+, 5+ to 4+ and 3+ to 2+. It’s not a nice clean change but I think it would make them a lot more usable.
Closing Thoughts
Honestly it was a perfect event, I was a bit worried about the hour limit for the games since my testing tended to go a little longer but on game day everything went very fast. A five game day is still a lot and I was completely shattered afterwards but it was a complete blast, the scoring system was also great, really engaging and fun to lose. 10/10 Would recommend.